Mind Set.

I'll be rising like a SKYSCRAPER !

I basically made up my mind, clear things out.

I felt good about it. I finally know what I want. (still pending) LOL

but yeahhhh basically I made a decision and Im going to stand firm with it.

All this while, I thought I was going to be okay and try not to think or to deal with it.

Which its not okay at all to do so. I ended up, hurting myself so much.

I can't believe my eyes, my ears and everything around me.

I stay in the room had some not so good feeling and thoughts.

so I decided to go out on my own. just to go out, get out from this room.

I went and I'm glad with my decision of going out.

Ain't that bad you know ? What so bad about going out alone ?

I'm used to be good alone. Why can't I be good again ?

In order to make things better, I have to find myself.

WHO I AM ? WHO I WAS ?

in order to love others, first I must love myself first.

I'm still trying, I'm going to find myself.

I'm still discovering, what's my passion.

this time, its going to be me and only me in this picture.

While time is healing, I'm going to take that time to do things I want.

You might say its selfish, but yo if you're not taking care of yourself, who's going to ?

I see things differently now, my heart let go something I want but its not mine.

Time to let go, no point holding on something that its hopeless.

I'm done, crying.. I'm done, heartbroken, I'm done, pretending.

You might read my previous post about things I said before.

But honestly, I still have those emo post its all because I didn't do like what I say.

I let my heart make the decision. Its not bad after all.

But this time no more heart decision.

I need time for healing. I'm slowly growing back stronger again.

I was tore down by the same person. The person I thought he will change.

Time was everything. Not the right time maybe.

As decision have been made. Mind set. Action should be taken !

No more going back, looking back, grieving over the past.

Thinking what could I have done back then. No MORE !

Don't let the past be your fear but make it a lesson.

Its hard, but if you believe in yourself that you can then definitely you can.

and I believe in myself and ppl around me, or even you believe I can.

so I'll prove to myself before you.

My broken heart is going to be heal. I can say its a fresh wound.

It takes seconds,minutes,hours,days,months, years? to heal.

Yeahhh, no more words that going to change my mind anymore.

No even from you. Nothing is going to change. I'm going to start from now on.

I no longer want to drag this any longer.

Life is too short for regrets and unhappiness.

I'm a happy girl and going to live my happy life.

Sometimes, I'm glad how God have been blessing me.

There's always ups and down you know.

But never lose yourself.

I'm going to forgive and forget you. (still working on it)

I'm going to stop all those negative thoughts, bad thoughts.

NO MORE, its unhealthy. Its so bad.

And I'm not letting you in to destroy my happiness.

I'm not going to let you to take away my belongings.

and I want to thank those ppl who have been there for me all this while.

I'm really glad to have you ppl around me when I need you the most.

You ppl make me feels that Im not alone. =)

Decisions made. Time for a change. A good start. Moving on.

Be strong, Stay Strong.

I've been avoiding and pushing away my problems and fear.

I think its time to face it and accept it. Or to deal with it.

I don't want to drag things/problems with me.

it just hurts, or maybe like killing yourself. Suicidal.

I don't want to pretend that its okay when its not.

Sometimes, or maybe most of the time the truth hurts.

But you know what ? Do you want to live in a place where liars are ?

Where you live to lie and lie to live ? You want that ?

No matter what, if you don't give up your life, you're consider strong.

Obviously, someone will always try to pull you down to the earth.

Rise back up, you want to be in Heaven don't ya ? Reach for it.

There's this heart and mind thing. Im confuse about it.

Both of them work together is best. For me.

Why do I always putting you first ? some ppl say,

"Love is when you put someone happiness before yourself.."

Am I too young to talk about love ? Am I not ?

But the truth above all ,

Everyone could move on, if time allows.

I do believe that everyone could do that and that's what most ppl do.

You love someone, if they don't love back,

How long can you love them ? Question yourself.

But I do believe that,

that someone will always be in our heart.

Someone, you could never forget.

You might forget the face, the physical, the moments.

But you'll never forget who they once were. Who they were to you.

No one love is greater than Him, our God.

Everyone, will let go when time comes.

No matter how much you say you want to hold and never let go.

I learned that in this world, nothing last forever.

Is matter of fact, you want to stay to fight, or wait or let go.

That's all.

While I'm questioning myself and my doubts are piling up.

I'll put God and let him help me to go through this.

Anyway, he was the ONLY one who was with me all this while.

I'm going to accept whatever it is.

Maybe its chinese or IDK, but we will always deny ppl's compliment

and just pull ourselves down by saying those negative words.

Exp ;

Scene 1

ppl : You're smart.

you : NO, Im not. I'm stupid.

Scene 2

ppl : You so pretty.

you : Where got pretty ? You're pretty not me. Im so ugly.

You know what, this thing will go on and on.

Sometimes, they say its because we want to be humble.

But not in a way, by saying negative words or bring yourself down just to show that you're humble.

Doesn't make sense doesn't it. They say Chinese do that. I dont know about you.

I'm chinese, so yeah. I used to do that. But not anymore.

What I do now is I'll replied, Thank You.

If you're sincere , you won't think Im arrogant.

Another thing is, its okay to make mistake but never make it another time.

Learn from your mistake. Life is not easy. If it is, its not worth living.

I'm not letting anyone to decide my future. God is exception.

I'm not letting anyone to interfere my decision.

You never know what the future is. So who knows ? God.

Note to self ; Be strong, Stay Strong.

Happiness over You.

shave my hair for the second time and the last time ?

leaving and putting everything into rest.

stop chasing something that is no longer yours.

no matter whatever reason/excuse you give me, I had enough.

this time around, Im moving on.

how long do I have to be in this position ?

Why give away happiness when I found Happiness.

I chose Happiness over you.

Yeah, once you was my happiness, but you don't anymore.

how many times I've to get hurt before I wake up ?

Life is beautiful, sometimes it hard.

But well, do everything positive. Think+Act.

Irony much,

Loving the right person at the wrong time.

Having the wrong person when the time is right.

And finding out you love someone after that person walks out of your life.

Every deserve to be happy.

So am I, I just want to be happy, and be the reason why the person is happy.

I love being myself when Im around you.

You know those, flawless + imperfection makes you perfect.

Its hard to find someone who likes you for who you are.

I didn't find someone like you because you and I know,

we could not find the "you" no matter who and where.

It's just us, you can't find me anywhere else and the other way round.

You'll always be a small part of me, and I'm glad.

Things ended badly, but its okay.

Wasn't like I didn't expect, but to trust you wouldn't have done it.

But you did it anyway. I should thank you perhaps ?

Making me stronger, found someone.

We are all still young, we make mistake,

that don't define us, but made us who we are.

There's so much to learn out there, don't settle less.

This time around, I'm not keeping anything inside anymore.

because I've kept too much in my heart.

I just feel different between you and me.

I don't want to fear over something but to overcome it.

Fear to love and give someone my heart all over again.

But I still believe in love.

You made me feel special in a way. =)

Nothing Last Forever.

Its another month now, its October now.

Second, Minutes, Hours, Days, Months have gone by so fast.

Everything happen was like just yesterday.

You know its sad that you need to move on,

and the thing is, does ppl actually learn something for it.

or in order to just let everything go and forget about it.

I hate to see ppl get tired without trying a little hard or make an effort at least.

I find couple nowadays, break up because their sick of each other.

I find married couple, divorce because they can't commit anymore.

My dear, then at the first point why get involve ?

What's with the promises you made ? Something so convincing.

Sometimes, you know you trust that someone so much that they won't hurt you,

but yet they are the one who is hurting you the most.

You know where promises made like the word "forever" apparently it doesn't exist.

When you need a accompany or when you're bored.

You know I'm always be there, I don't want to say victim.

Maybe its true that nothing last forever.

But I do believe in God that He is eternal and his love for me is forever.